Red Cliff- Part I: oddities and awe-ities

I grew up on a healthy diet of John Woo films, back in his heyday, when every film was a masterpiece. As a child, I used to think that Chow Yun-Fat had surgically implanted a toothpick between his teeth, and that someone had sewed a pair of guns to his hands the way mothers sew mittons to coats. Whenever he was standing in a scene, I would have to tilt my head, because he just didnt seem right unless he was on his back or flying sideways through the air, guns ablazin'. My cousin and I would reinact all the scenes where Chow and [the other guy] would point guns at each other's head while spouting calm, witty dialogue; sometimes we would spin in circles to emulate the camera moving round and round the pair.

I stopped watching John Woo films when he started working with the whities*. I didn't want to see the man who had introduced me to guns, machetes and the brotherhood (all before I reached puberty) embarass himself. And time and Hollywood proved me right. There was that unfortunate Jean-Claude van Damme debut, and then one too many films starring Nicholas Cage... So I've only heard the rumours of how bad the others were, and I'm quite glad to have closed my eyes on the last 15 years of John Woo's career.

But when I heard about Red Cliff, I just couldn't resist. Woo's first foray into the ancient China genre, armed with a historical epic and a bloated budget? And no Nicholas Cage? Happy day! Come back, my prodigal son, c
ome back to the motherland. Here, take a timeless classic, and go forth...

It's 208AD, and the scheming Prime Minister Cao Cao is set to inherit the fading Han Empire. Having already conquered the North, Cao Cao sends his mighty army to the southlands of China, in an attempt to unify the entire kingdom under his control. As Cao Cao's men march towards them, General Liu Bei’s military strategist Zhuge Liang organizes an alliance with Sun Quan, a neighbouring warlord. The two consolidate their armies, and Zhuge and Sun’s Viceroy Zhou Yu lead the allied forces to a minor victory against Cao Cao’s calvary, a precursor to the great battle still to be won at sea. With the enemy's massive fleet on the opposite banks, Zhuge and Zhou cautiously plan their next military move against the powerful Cao Cao, in a battle of chess-like wit and cunning.

Woo’s casting woes prior to production were almost as dramatic as the film itself
, with a revolving door of actors moving in and out of roles. Tony Leung Chiu-wai, turned down the role of Zhuge Liang (which was later taken up by Takeshi Kaneshiro), but came back to the production to replace Chow Yun-Fat as Zhou Yu, after Fat unexpectedly bowed out during the first week of shooting.

Kaneshiro is surprisingly good as the youthful and smart strategist, displaying a confidence of ease; a man whose strength is clearly more brains than brawn. His character plays counterpoint to Leung's Viceroy; soft wisdom partnered with hard experience. Kaneshiro’s Zhuge is the sagacious strategist, while Zhou Yu is a man wisened by battle, the elder, more experienced of the two. Together, Zhuge and Zhou share duties as the brains of Liu Bei’s military operations.

Sadly, (and it really hurts to say this) Tony Leung's performance is a little unconvincing. Leung gives Zhou Yu a sensitive touch that seems naggingly misplaced, and he can't seem to hold down the commanding presence and brute smarts that his Zhou Yu's character demands. This is partly the failure of the script too, as it doesn’t help that Lin Chi-ling has been cast as the superfluous pretty thing clasping his arm, dragging Zhou Yu's strong silent machismo down with her.

Perhaps I can blame the voice actor for Leung's failings. Apparently, Leung's Mandarin is so egregious that Taiwanese audiences have never heard his real voice. Or perhaps I can blame the costume designer, who for some unknown reason has made Leung look exceptionally more ridiculous than his fellow actors. But beyond all this, Leung's portrayal of the strong, hardened commander is simply... lacking. Leung's performance leaves me wistfully thinking that Woo had it right the first time- Chow (or at least the Chow of old) would probably have been a much better fit for the character of Zhou Yu, and Leung would have made an appropriate Zhuge Liang.

Woo's supporting cast provides a lively backdrop to the furrowed brows of military scheming. Some, like Lin Chi-ling, are merely cinematic window-dressing while others, Liu Bei’s brothers-in-arms in particular, evoke a sense of martial heroism that is trademark Woo. His themes of fraternal brotherhood from his good ol' days (A Better Tomorrow, Hard-Boiled) shine in the context of warring ancient China. Woo manages to convey the age-old sentiments of chivalry and loyalty without appearing melodramatic, and the result is an emotionally-sweeping sense of brotherhood-in-battle bravado. Ba Sen Zha Bu delivers a particularly sharp performance as the fierce and legendary warrior, Guan Yu.

The strangest thing about Woo's big-budget blockbuster- the most expensive Asian film ever made- is his visual aesthetic, or rather lack of one.
When George Lucas brought back the Star Wars series, he used wipes and iris transitions between scenes- a self-reflexive, old school send-up to his earlier series. But I don't know what John Woo's excuse is. Red Cliff has none of the colourfully-saturated imagery of Zhang Yi-mou's Hero, nor the gritty bleak look of Peter Chan's The Warlords. It leaves me wondering where the hell all the money went. Battle sequences notwithstanding, there are parts of Red Cliff that could have come straight out of a kareoke video. It's as if, not being able to cinematically date the film back to 200AD, Woo has settled for circa 1982.

Despite all this, Woo has the advantage of having one of the most entertaining and engrossing stories in Chinese history at his disposal. The Battle of Red Cliff is a dramatic tale of strategy and wit, and the film serves to fill in the complicated imaginary spaces of the book with vivid, awe-invoking visuals and stunning scenes of scale. Not only are the individual heroics of the characters in battle amazing, but Woo has made military strategy look sexy, in a big big way, especially in the film's big battle finale.

Red Cliff has plenty of awesome action and a thoroughly engaging story, but Woo still looks groggy from his Hollywood daze. Hopefully he'll have walked it off in time for the film's finale.


*A version of this appears on Twitch, my friend's film site, where I was virtually accosted by angry cinephiles for using the term "whitey". I guess it was smart to take out the part where I refer to Chinese folks as "my people"... to see me stand corrected, click on the link.

KTV practice and cantopop flashbacks

I went back 20 years today:

I went back to the countless roadtrips we took as a family when I was a kid. In the big black Buick, so big it could probably fit a smart car in its trunk. I remember my dad behind the steering wheel, probably revelling in how big the country was, and how much.. space there was on the road. I remember my mom in the passenger seat, handing me my mini pencil and my red "Wordsearch Fun" book. And I remember me sitting in the middle, in the armrest-that-doubles-as-a-seat seat, no taller than the armrest; not having outgrown it yet.

And I remember Jacky, oh how I remember Jacky. I sang my goddamn lungs out to his entire album. The same album, every roadtrip. I knew how to sing all the songs by heart, even though I had no idea what he was singing about. I still don't but I kind of remember the words.



So... this one's for my parents, who put up with all my wailing for all those years.

And to Jacky, of course. Everyone knows you were the only Heavenly King who could actually sing.

[the] {parenthetical} [life]

Life in Taiwan is made for Western kids in their early 20s. You marvel at being able to shop with beer in your hand; you party every weekend; you have no real responsibilities; you work, but not too hard; you don't know what you're going to do with your life in five years time and you don't care.

It makes going through a mid-life crisis all the more... challenging*. I feel like I'm regressing back to 21, except I'm doing more drinking and less gangeing. I haven't philosophized in months, the "me" that comes out here isn't that me, it's the easily-amused, frisbee-loving, go-go energy me. Which is fine, that's a good me... it's like the me that I would've been at 21 had I not been so agro and self-deprecating. But... it feels like a me without purpose.

This regression, and purposelessness, it's all part of the syndrome I've dubbed The Parenthetical Life. Living out here is akin to screaming into a hole in the wall. You can do anything you want, and at the end of the day/month/year, you can go home as if nothing ever happened. Because nothing counts. You live your life here in brackets, and there are no consequences.

When I was on my 2-year travelling stint, I met an Israeli girl, who offhandedly made the comment that travelling was "the fake life", which the self-righteous 22-year-old Me took great offense to. But looking back now, I absolutely agree with her. In many cases, for Westerners, Taiwan is a place for boys who don't want to be men**. My friends and I have decided the threshold is about five years. After five years, you either get out and grow up, or you succumb to being a boy forever. There are so many thoroughly messed up 30 and 40-something-year-old Western dudes here who are stuck in perma-adolescence.

The bright side to the bracket life is that if nothing counts, then there's nothing to lose. So, while this gives closet assholes license to be bigger assholes, it also means that all fears of failure are easy to put down. Here, you have no reputation to protect, no respect to be lost. You're annonymous, and so are your fuck-ups.

Again, there are pros and cons to this scenario. The con is, any yahoo can pick up a guitar and form a band, and if they're white, they will probably enjoy some small measure of success, no matter how shitty they are. All the people who would never get gigs at home, suddenly find themselves here saying "... I've always wanted to be in a band", and voila- Guitar Idol Rock Star with a small collection of adoring fans thrown in, gratis. Same goes for DJs.

Um, and same goes for writers, at least this writer anyway. I've always believed that, given the opportunity, I could write for a newspaper; that I was good enough. Now, I'm not so sure. I've recently started writing for the China Post, the "other" English-language newspaper (the one that nobody reads), Taipei Times being "the" English-language newspaper. What I've discovered is that I don't know how to write for papers- my writing style oscillates between witty mcshmitty blogisms and pretentious grad dissertations, with no in-between.

So, I reason, where else to hone my skills but here in Nowheresville, where nothing really matters anyway. HA! Who says mediocrity gets you nowhere! To be blunt, nowheresville or not, I have to make this count; I don't want to live in brackets. I have to believe that what I'm doing in Taiwan is going to count for something later on. The alternative is to believe that I'm out here spending yet another year skirting responsibility and dicking off with adventures, novelties and cheap thrills... and I don't like that version so much. I'd much rather say that I'm wasting time in a meaningful way. Although now that I think of it, aren't I always?


*I'm exaggerating, by the way. I'm not really going through a mid-life crisis. I'm just feeling especially neurotic this week.
** I would make these sweeping generalizations about the Western women here too, but almost all my female friends here are Taiwanese, so I'm my only example in this case. And it's true- I DO feel like a little boy