Getting old is a sneaky thing. Everyone always complains about the rumble of the big 3.0 but I'd say that my 30th birthday was perfectly chill- no neurotic impulse to deconstruct my life, no aching sentimentalism about all the lost years of my youth, no reminders of how time has past and the awe or reverence that comes with that.
No... that's all hitting me now, at 3.14159... tricky dick, that 31-and-a-half. Lately I've been running into a lot of old peeps. Not just people I used to hang out with, but also (and even weirder), people that I just used to see around. Like, back was I went out more. It's a strange feeling to be outside of a community you once felt so entrenched in, one that feels like it still carries that version of you with it.
I recently ran into some musician friends from OM days. I'd met their daughter when she was barely able to walk (we had a nice bonding moment when I picked her up as she was crying and she clung to me and fell back asleep. [Especially impressive because it was the morning after a sleepless night during which I was probably up to no good]). Last week, I saw her for the first time since and it blew my mind. She's six now. Six. like a completely real, actualized person. WEEEEIIIRD.
To save me from all these head trips, I recently got obsessed with feather stars, or rather, I reawakened an old obsession. I caught sight of these wily ocean invertebrates in Borneo, I was snorkeling along and suddenly I saw this awesome wiggling, wiggly feather thing. Then, when I dove down to get a better look, it went perfectly still and pretended that it was a plant!
Check it (sorry for the shaky video):
But some sea cucumbers look more like bare, foliageless little trees, like this:
And at night, sea cucumbers get REALLY exciting. I once did a night dive in the Philippines and had a total BBC moment when I saw a sea cucumber feeding.
Check this out: (not my video and I know it says feather star, but I'm pretty sure it's a sea cucumber)
It's not that I have a problem with getting old, or older. When I look around and think of some of the friends that have stuck by me in the last ten years.. it's beautiful. I love that we've gotten older, more mushily sentimental, less (or more) sketchy, more (much more) ridiculous... The part that unsettles me is this feeling that people my age have their shit together in a way that I don't. Not the big stuff, I'm not sweating the big stuff as much, and if I am, I know it's silly. But there are little things that... feel like should be easier. Tis all...
Whatever. I guess I'll always have my little amusements.
No... that's all hitting me now, at 3.14159... tricky dick, that 31-and-a-half. Lately I've been running into a lot of old peeps. Not just people I used to hang out with, but also (and even weirder), people that I just used to see around. Like, back was I went out more. It's a strange feeling to be outside of a community you once felt so entrenched in, one that feels like it still carries that version of you with it.
I recently ran into some musician friends from OM days. I'd met their daughter when she was barely able to walk (we had a nice bonding moment when I picked her up as she was crying and she clung to me and fell back asleep. [Especially impressive because it was the morning after a sleepless night during which I was probably up to no good]). Last week, I saw her for the first time since and it blew my mind. She's six now. Six. like a completely real, actualized person. WEEEEIIIRD.
To save me from all these head trips, I recently got obsessed with feather stars, or rather, I reawakened an old obsession. I caught sight of these wily ocean invertebrates in Borneo, I was snorkeling along and suddenly I saw this awesome wiggling, wiggly feather thing. Then, when I dove down to get a better look, it went perfectly still and pretended that it was a plant!
Check it (sorry for the shaky video):
Ninjas of the sea! Look at that stealth.
The feather star's cousin is the sea cucumber (and the starfish). Most of the time, when we think of sea cucumbers (... assuming that you think about sea cucumbers every now and again), we think of limp sluggish sausage-like guys, like this:
The feather star's cousin is the sea cucumber (and the starfish). Most of the time, when we think of sea cucumbers (... assuming that you think about sea cucumbers every now and again), we think of limp sluggish sausage-like guys, like this:
But some sea cucumbers look more like bare, foliageless little trees, like this:
And at night, sea cucumbers get REALLY exciting. I once did a night dive in the Philippines and had a total BBC moment when I saw a sea cucumber feeding.
Check this out: (not my video and I know it says feather star, but I'm pretty sure it's a sea cucumber)
It's not that I have a problem with getting old, or older. When I look around and think of some of the friends that have stuck by me in the last ten years.. it's beautiful. I love that we've gotten older, more mushily sentimental, less (or more) sketchy, more (much more) ridiculous... The part that unsettles me is this feeling that people my age have their shit together in a way that I don't. Not the big stuff, I'm not sweating the big stuff as much, and if I am, I know it's silly. But there are little things that... feel like should be easier. Tis all...
Whatever. I guess I'll always have my little amusements.
